i seriously screw up things at the closing hours of today... im truly very sorry for what i did to you... i noe that i shouldnt have reacted the way i did... i came to realise how you must be feeling now... deep inside myself i noe that i wasnt suppose to react that way... and i noe that you didnt want to see this side of me... but i can promise you that im not the sort of person...it was truly my fault and things happened too fast... but you should noe that you mean so much to me and that im afraid of losing you...

siti 'ayuni aidil, im truly very sorry and that nizam sayang you alot...

A Recollection Of Memories...

i'll start my 300th post with the heart that you gave me... it means more than just the shape to me... thank you...

ok so work today was no better than yesterday... both lunch and dinner shifts are seriously massively draining energy... im glad that this week is over... plans for tomorrow... band in the afternoon and meet up woth my math kakis on the later part of the day...

its true that it gets more clearer as to wat you mean to me... its true that im giving what i can... sometimes i look upon the night sky to look for stars and to think through hard.. but i guess i wouldnt be needing those stars when all i need to see is you...

goodnite to you

A Recollection Of Memories...

its been a very hectic day for me... been running here and there and everywhere... shit... i reali need some time off soon...

training was alright i guess... kn ayuni kn... haha
headed back to work to only get ourselves into a living hell situation... too many things happening at a time... chaotic should be the word to be use... complications, miscomunication... alright im going to give this part a miss...

another long day tomorrow and hope it ends soon...

i had a very enjoyable day today with you... till next time k...

im very tired and its time to crash in...

out

A Recollection Of Memories...

ive been having wonderful days lately... thnaks guys... another trip down to the land of the woods... its been quite sometime since i sat infront of a wide screen and so i did by going down to catch a movie today... the notmal group of people... with addition of new frens...

coming soon was great to watch... the suspends excites me... but its rather typica like any other horror movie...

movie rating :3.5

so headed to aynui's place and spend sometime watching another horror movie - one miss call... its fun with all the people and all the games to play...
thanks ayuni for the food and all...

ive always like spending time with you...

busy day tomorrow... training over at orchard and then to do dinner shift... but im sure it will be just fine...

A Recollection Of Memories...

im glad we've talked through things... im feeling so much better... im still holding on to what i believe in you... i cant possibly let it go now when its the time when i feel it strongly... i will wait and i will believe in it...

and you should know how much you mean to me....

and im going to the movies tomorrow and maybe to your place...

A Recollection Of Memories...

have you heard the saying - aim for the stars and maybe you will reach the sky...
but have you ever thought about it in a negative persperctive?

i got too high from the ground and now i came crashing down and ive got no one to blame but myself... this is wat i meant... no im not blaming you cuz im to blame for all this...

all i want you to know is that you mean alot to me...
you opened a pth for me to move on with life...
you made me realised once again wat happiness really is...
you made me see life as a clearer and more beautiful picture that i once thot it was dull and grey...

please dont take back wat ive gained...

A Recollection Of Memories...

maybe i chose to run away from reality but i cant put myself to face it either cuz i do not understand what ive been going thru of late... pardon how ive been reacting to people today... im just passing the days when things just dont go my way... maybe ive been missing something...

a special thanks to ayuni and raudah for making my day alot better than what ive been feeling today... your message sure made me smile... i wanted to see your face today but i chose not due to my foul mood...

tomorrow shall be a better day...

A Recollection Of Memories...

i tink i need to do some reflection bout my life... certain changes have to be made to accomodate the current situation... im moving on with the next phase of my life and i want to bring this part of my life with me... i want the person to accompany with the journey.. i vowed to change for a new begining and leave the past behind and i will do so...

meet my new best friend...
equations, numbers and calculations = MATHS
im begining to like this subject... indices down... many more to go...

thanks to my math buddies... ayuni & raudah

A Recollection Of Memories...

been busy lately.. but i did have some time to breathe... dinner over at sakura was great... im sure the rest would agree... and our favourite 2 dressings now would be the tabasco and wasabi... haha... inside joke... well its reali a good time off from work and all the hustles and bustles of my daily life...

well finally i did some math revision... its been too long that i last had a glance on all of the numbers... another study session tomorrow before work... well indices? hmph... not that bad actually...

ight guys... im crashing in...

A Recollection Of Memories...

here i am behind these empty walls... the silence of the early mornings...
i sat and ponder my thots to something which ive longed been waiting for it to be answered... the hustling of the hollow winds and the cracking sound of the fallen leaves sweeping on the surface of the concrete road...


i read the lyrics from our unfinished song and i came to notice somethings... its true, its all true...

Fantasies,
A dream may never be,
Without you by my side,
I’m hoping through the night.

I pray to god,
We’ll never fall apart,
And never in my life,
I’ll have you for the start

and every story begins
will come to an end
life will move on
only memories remains

and i hope its a dream....

im being confined from myself and i need to break free...

A Recollection Of Memories...

another busy week ahead... hopefully ive got time to recupperate... hmph... well its the holis for the kidz this week and it means that the streets are being piled upw ith types like the mat and minah and not forgetting the cinereps... well this 1 week will come and go very fast... 1 more month to the start of skool... im being neutral bout it...


the words that i heard i undertand...
a picture i see as a portrait...
in you're eyes i see alot of hidden messages which still remains unclear...
and in you i will confide...

A Recollection Of Memories...

its been the raining season and alot of things have been going thru my mind... and when i cant contain it i have a habit of writting down my expressions... emotions being conveyed into words...

i tend to compose lyrical meanings to what i am feeeling... and looks like it, im writting down the lines again...

A Recollection Of Memories...

im having this freaking backache... and it freaking irritating... my weekends are packed with work and looks like its not going to end any time soon... but that's alright i guess...


decisions are made on my part
i'll stick to it...

every word i said is what i truly mean...
its up to you as to how you want to fit the puzzle in...

the picture of the puzzle i gladly accept

goodnight strawberry shortcake

A Recollection Of Memories...

dvr baduts and aoki nakano for a trip to town for karaoke session... well had a great time with these freak heads... spent the whole of today outside but a few moments ago before i reached home...


a thousand words i recite
many stories to convey...

an expression to be told
only for a person to understand...

and that is you..

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okay updates of the past few days... well lets rewind back... devout recital had a little meet up after a long time since the whole lot of us did so... planned to go for a swim... bla bla bla and then ended up jamming random songs... it was fun cuz ive been away from pedals and cymbals for quite sometime... okay moving on to yesterday...

MRFM was on air and the DJs for the day was DJ Julian Alformosi and DJ Aoki Nakano.. pierce!!! well its freaking fun to be DJs... well you guys should check out the FM.. the link to it will be at the bottom of this post...

okay here i am still at Aryl Joyjoy's crib and going on air... its freaking 4 in the morning now and its still alive...

today was a trip down to Vivo City together with the krew of admiralty park celebrating Armeeza Peeza's birthday... and yeah.. may all your wishes come true.. you were shocked when the blindfold was opened right... haha... well atleast i enjoyed the company and the happenings of today...

okay next up for tomorrow... karaoke session with the band together with Aoki Nakano... pictures will be update soon aight...


aight here's the link to MRFM...
http://www.myrecitalfm.webs.com/

ciaoz

A Recollection Of Memories...

life seems to be very unpredictable... it can be scorching hot at one moment and it can rain heavily the next...

well all have been said... ive always been having trouble expressiong it out but this time round its rather different... it was comfortable allowing my heart to convey it's message...

its begining to be like a movie trailer... the outline of the movie becomes more and more clear... but small details and the ending lacks abit... details like expressions and emotions are being exposed... but still the ending remains vague...

the last few peices of the jigsaw is left.... but will the pieces ever fit in perfectly? i wonder...

A Recollection Of Memories...

its getting closer to the day when we both go our separate ways and that may eventually lead to lesser and lesser meet ups... and i dun want that to occur...
i like how we are right now... we are more opened up towards each other... atleast i could have the opportunity to spend some time with you eventhough its a very short time each time...

im lost to what i should do now... i need guidance... i need your directions...

A Recollection Of Memories...

i purposely darken the picture to explain how i am right now... just imagine yourself being in a room of which there are no openings at all except a small hole which allows a glimmer of light to past through...

im feeling very much to myself... im feeling like im stuck with myself and with no one around me... ive not been feeling this way for so long and now its coming back to me... im hoping that the glimmer of light is not only a way to brighten up the room but im hoping its a sense of hope for me to break through what ive been chained down with...

A Recollection Of Memories...

ive been thinking alot of listening to what my surroundings have to say... i know that its getting clearer and my instincts are in par with what my mind says... hmph...

well in life... most people tend to only see the surface of a person.. meaning on how a person looks or maybe just a shallow understanding of what the person really is...

of cause everyone of us have a dark side of our lives... ive always believe that if you truly love the person, one should respect and accept the dark past of a particular someone.. everyone of us have somethings which we do not one others to know like our bitter past...

i accept what flaws you may have because i know i have flaws too... i dont pass my judgement on the surface... the more i know you... the more im into you... i know that there are many things that both of us have yet to know about our lives but we will discover it some day...

im tired of writting my own life story alone... im tired of writting a story about me and only me... i want something different... i want something which involves not just me... i want to write a story of us...

i want you to be part of my life... i want you leave something in my life... i want us to write a story of us and only the two of us... i want to be there for you and i want to be with you...

A Recollection Of Memories...

its been a very long time since the whole lot of us hang out together... life have been rather busy for me these few days... but i think it will tone down soon... hopefully we can spend sometime catching up any time soon...

shit this wisdom tooth is killing me... i hate this pain... ouh well ive still got to live with it...


i want you to fill me in... i want to see you soon... i need to share it with you and soon enough i hope you will understand... but till then we are how we are...

A Recollection Of Memories...

mistakes we often make are actually platforms on which we can change the way we lead our own lives... ive learnt alot of things for the past few days... things that i overlooked in the past... things that only now i understand...

somethings are not meant to be hidden... somthings are not meant to be keep a secret in which only you yourself should know...and such things are feelings like affection and love for someone...

i understand now that these subjects should be announce and never to be kept to yourself... too many mistakes ive made in life... mistakes that should never have been made... i once decided to turn my back on life... the times when i thought that nothing mattered to me anymore... but nevertheless... i decided to give myself a last fighting chance... i changed alot of things in my life...

for the past few months i have created something which represents me now... i led a quiet and dull life... i was alone... i was alone because i had no one to share a piece of my life with... no im not refering to my family members my my closest friends... i lack someone special...

never i expected that it is now that i developed this feelings... you brought a whole new level to my life... you brought a sense of joy without you knowing it... you added colour to my life...

you excites me... you gave me a chance to dare myself into proving what im capable off... i have a great affection for you... im feeling more of you now... do you feel the same way as i do? can i know whats going through your mind?

A Recollection Of Memories...

i finally have some time to recuperate... time for some quality time for myself and my loved ones...

its rainning heavily at this moment... i love rainy days... but most of the time people tend to associate rainy days with dull and lazy plus tired kind of feelings... but i like it as how i would interpret it...

rainy days are the kind of days that i can look to for answers... dont ask me how but that what ive been associating it all my life... i like the shattering sound of rain drops when it crashes down to the ground.. i love the hustling sounds of the wind trying to sweep through anything that goes in its way... and i like the flash of the lightning that could make me reflect abit of my life just for that split second... i get the hang of myself during rainy days...


as i look out through the window a few moments ago, i got a little restless... im restless because i miss looking at ypu... i miss seeing your smile... it wasnt that long ago that i actually saw your eyes... i wanst that long ago that you were around me but i always tend to miss that someone special during the presence of rainfall...

ive got quite abit to share with you... i need to see you soon.. i miss you...

A Recollection Of Memories...

i purposely delayed this post by a few hours... im just too tired to even press the keypads of my lappy... ive been owrking alot lately... too much that is... its about time i see the world outside rather than the doorstep of my workplace... hopefully i can hangout tomorrow...


it is more evident now...
i no longer doubt myself about what im feeling...
i seem to like what i see in you...
i seem to like almost everything bout you...
should i continue to holdback some more?
its still too early right?
or is it not?

well...

for now... no comments...

i like... i like.. i like it very much...

A Recollection Of Memories...